Get Help
For families & caregivers
When the person you love will not ask for help themselves.
What you can do
You can contact us on their behalf. We cannot discuss a specific adult’s care with you without their permission — that is a legal limit, not a policy we chose — but nothing stops you from telling us about a situation, and nothing stops us from reaching out to someone who might accept contact.
Tell us where they are likely to be, who they already trust, and what has gone wrong with care before. That last one is usually the most useful thing you can give us.
Why they may be refusing help
It is rarely stubbornness. Common reasons, in roughly the order we encounter them:
- A previous experience where they were disbelieved or treated as drug-seeking
- A congregate setting they cannot physically tolerate — noise, crowding, no exit
- A rule that would separate them from a partner, a pet or their belongings
- A conviction they are ineligible, based on one bad answer years ago
- Shame, which is worse for veterans specifically and worse again for women veterans
Most of these are addressable, and knowing which one it is changes the approach completely.
Looking after yourself
Supporting someone through this is depleting, and the depletion is not a sign you are doing it wrong. If you are in crisis yourself, 988 is for you too. You do not have to be the person in danger to call it.
What we will not do
We will not tell you that we can make an adult accept care, and we will not report back to you about their treatment without their consent. Any organization that promises you either of those is either lying or breaking the law.